The Hacker Hymnal

Or, Songs of Praise and Computing

Soli Deo Gloria

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Notes on the parodies

1. Though The Servers May Fall

(Nicholas Haggin)

Refrain: Though the servers may fall, And the disks turn to dust, Yet the box of the Lord will stand With a login for all Who would call his routines; Sing the praise and the glory of God!

1. Could the Lord ever leave you? Could the Lord lock your account? Though a BOFH smite his password file, He will not abandon you. (Refrain)

2. Should your code make a core dump, His debugger is at hand; Should your pointers stray out of bounds He will gently lead them back. (Refrain)

3. When the network is flaky, He will keep your routers strong; You will not drop your packets, For your God will be your strength. (Refrain)

2. I Could Open My Source Forever

(Nicholas Haggin)

Refrain: I could open my source forever, I could open my source forever. I could open my source forever, I could open my source forever.

Over the network, you will see, A stream of bits will run for me, And I will open up my source And let the coders set it free From every error it contains, So that quite stable it remains, And I will always sing the praises of the GPL! (Refrain)

3. Everlasting Strife

(C. J. B. Ángel)

Refrain: Windows is the source of everlasting strife.

The code of the Lord is perfect, Compiling forever. Microsoft can't be trusted; It confuses the simple. (Refrain)

4. Es ist das Filter kommen her

(Nicholas Haggin, after an idea by Felipe M. L. Gasper)

Es ist das Filter kommen her Voll' Macht und Probabilität; Die Späme helfen nimmermehr, Sie werden doch tief untergräbt. Das Email nimmt neu' Hoffnung an, Herr Bayes hat's gut für uns getan; Er ist des Emails Retter.

5. We Are His Minions

(The former St. John's 6 O'Clock Choir)

Refrain: We are his minions, the flock with a sword.

Cry out in pain as we seize all your lands, All your lands, You can run, but we will still catch you, And in victory we'll shout out for joy! (Refrain)

6. All The Ends Of Your Base

(Refrain by the former St. John's 6 O'Clock Choir; verse by Nicholas Haggin)

Refrain: All the ends of your base, they are belong to us; All the ends of your base, they are belong to us.

All the ends of your base have seen The set-up of the bomb, And quickly you take off every zig, For great justice. (Refrain)

7. Awesome Squad

(Chris Siefert and Dwight Divine)

When we hit the drop pods, we ain't just puttin' on the Ritz, Our squad is an awesome squad! We come with heavy bolters, and with power fists! Our squad is an awesome squad! The Emp'ror wasn't jokin' when he sent us out from Terra, He sent us out to shed some Xeno blood! Our arrival's very close and so you better be believin' that Our squad is an awesome squad!

Refrain: Our squad is an awesome squad! We rain death from above! With hatred, not with love, Our squad is an awesome squad!

When the sky is starless, in the void of the night, Our squad is an awesome squad! We shoot into the darkness and create much light, Our squad is an awesome squad! The judgement and wrath we pour out on Chaos! No mercy do we have for the Eldar! I hope that you have not too quickly forgotten that Our squad is an awesome squad! (Refrain)

8. A solis ortus cardine

(Nicholas Haggin, with deepest apologies to Caelius Sedulius, Venantius Fortunatus, and pretty much every other Latin hymnodist)

A solis ortus cardine Adusque terrae limitem Rete mittit pro hacribus Scapos paginasque telae.

Datorum centri medio Os aethernet iam aperit, Et computatri agente Cum bitibus adimpletur.

Hostis spamator impie, Paedorem tuum quid vomis? Viagram nolo emere, Nec fictum horologium.

O gloriosa systema, O Linux magne potensque, Luce tua mirabile Fenestras frange Redmondis.

Vermes virusque abite! Systema mea dura est: Correptos omnes fortiter Citoque enim repellet.